Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
