HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
