So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
