**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
