ya dads aren't the best wingmen
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
