Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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