I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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