I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
