Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
