Sponge bath it is.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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