would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
