so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
