Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I don't think brook has ever known best
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
