Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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