Please, let me fuck your mom
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
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