I wannas sexs uuuuu
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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