The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We are two peas in an std pod
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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