That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
