New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
