Absence makes the cock grow harder.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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