i was born a porn star she said
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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