We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
