i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
