What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
honey bunches of taint.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
