he told me I talked like a deaf person
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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