On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
