There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Where is the hickey?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
