butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
