Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
