Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
