someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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