How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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