If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
