when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
