I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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