You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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