I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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