so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
