All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
