I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
