The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
