I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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