she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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