Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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