I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
