well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
