last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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