wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize