Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
