Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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