i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
