You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
