I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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