is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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