I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
