NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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