PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
