Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
