I heard we made out
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
