wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
