WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I forgot wine drunk hurts
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
