i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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