Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
As shirtless as possible
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
