I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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