i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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