I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
All the doctor said was why
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
