summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
one might say we're banned from that church
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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