we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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