whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
