just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize