I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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