at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
